I just saw these, they made me laugh a lot

"Bruce Schneier is not balding, you just can't see the encrypted portions of his hair."

"Once Bruce Schneier was kidnapped and taken out of the country. His kidnappers got picked up and charged with a violation of US cryptography export laws."

"Bruce Schneier doesn't need a radio. He can just listens to 'cat /dev/random >/dev/audio' to find out what's going on anywhere in the world."

"Bruce Schneier is a proof that one way functions do not exist."

"There are no prime numbers, just numbers Bruce Schneier hasn't bothered to factor yet."

"Bruce Schneier's secure handshake is so strong, you won't be able to exchange keys with anyone else for days."

and the classic: "Bruce Schneier knows Alice and Bob's shared secret."